The Pet

Young Esther Bunni had reached the age of eleven when she understood that it was now time, according to an agreement hashed out with her parents years earlier, for her to get a pet. Her parents, Roger and Honey, had strung her along for several years with promises and accords, that were modified and amended multiple times, of getting a pet as soon as she was old enough. It was decided and mutually agreed upon that eleven was a responsible age for the family to take in another member as long as Esther understood that she would be the primary care giver when it came to feeding, cleaning and taking on walks if necessary.

“Oh, she won’t need walks,” Esther said to her parents.

“Really?” Roger replied. He looked at his wife with a smile and then back to his daughter. “So, I guess we’re getting a cat then?”

Young Esther shook her head, “No, not a cat. I want a mermaid.”

Roger and Honey stared at their daughter for a moment before Honey gently began. “Esther, we talked about this before, mermaids aren’t real. They’re fictitious. Do you know what fictitious means?”

“I do,” Esther replied. “It means that it’s made up. But mermaids aren’t made up. They’re real.”

Esther then held up a flier that announced in big, bold letters that PetCo was having a sale on mermaids.

Roger tried to make sense of the advertisement. “I think this may be a typo or something,” he finally declared.

“No, it’s not a typo. It says right there that mermaids are on sale, forty percent off.”

Honey grabbed the flier and studied it. There were a lot of words about mermaids being on sale but no typos.

“Where did you get this?” she asked.

“It was on the door with some other fliers,” Esther responded.

In a move that Roger had perfected over the last eleven years he shrugged his shoulders in resignation. “I guess we’ll go see what this is all about.”

Every PetCo was layed out exactly the same across the country so that loyal customers, no matter what city they happened to be in, would know exactly where everything was and confusion levels would be kept to a minimum.

Dog treats were in the front along with the toys. Specialized pet food lined the right side of the store and living quarters such as beds, mats, cages, were stocked on the left.

Bird seed had its own aisle as they were slowly becoming a popular pet to have despite some people’s best efforts to thwart this trend, citing that birds can be quite finicky and high maintenance.

A PetCo employee, Gary, greeted Esther and her parents as they walked in the store. “Hi, welcome to PetCo. Can I help you find anything?”

Esther got right to the point, “Show us the mermaids.”

Gary’s face dropped. “I see. Are you sure you don’t want to look at the puppies first?”

“Mermaids,” was Esther’s direct reply. She showed Gary the flier. He studied it with equal amounts of shock and horror and then let all the muscles in his face drop in acceptance.

“Where did you get this?” he asked.

“Hanging on our front door,” Esther replied.

Gary studied the flier once more before sighing in resignation. “Follow me.”

The fish tanks were in a separate room that was divided by large glass windows. The lighting was not as bright as the rest of the store so as not to terrify the fish and to create the illusion that they were in the ocean and not in a strip mall next to a Pizza Hut.

Esther and her parents followed Gary past the fish to another room that was much darker and lit mostly by black light. There was a single large tank in the middle filled with water that almost reached the ceiling. Colorful rocks were spread out in the bottom of the tank and a small castle leaned in the corner next to three small palm trees. And in the middle of the tank, floating serenely was a mermaid. She looked exactly like they did in the fairy tales, Esther thought to herself. Long, gorgeous red hair that somehow managed to always hide her breasts, human arms and face and from her waist down was a series of colorful scales that led to a tail that was aligned in the same way that a whale or a dolphin’s tail might be. No one ever questioned this slight discrepancy of her scales which were a component of a fish and the horizontal direction of her tail which was most commonly found on ocean mammals. People were usually too busy being shocked that she existed in the first place.

Roger’s mouth dropped as Honey stifled a scream. Esther smiled.

“Where did you get her?” Esther wanted to know.

“She’s a rescue,” Gary replied. “We were about to ship her back.”

“A rescue from what?” Roger finally asked.

“Some billionaire who collects exotic animals. You know the ones, albino lions, ligers, fire breathing pelicans. It’s a status thing. They think it would be really neat to have an exotic pet in their inventory but they soon realize that these are wild creatures who eventually become too burdensome.”

Roger and Honey kept staring at the mermaid who was peacefully floating in the tank next to a corkscrew-shaped piece of poop.

“I…I didn’t even know these…things existed,” Roger said.

“Well, they’re rare, I’ll tell you that much,” Gary said. “But, if you have enough money you can get whatever you want.”

Roger stared at the mermaid. The mermaid stared back at the family, not quite registering any emotion, just floating around.

Esther  couldn’t believe her eyes. She was so happy, the happiest she had ever been. She looked at her parent’s somewhat horrified faces then at Gary and quietly said, “I’ll take her.”

Driving home in the family station wagon, Esther just gazed at the mermaid floating peacefully in the extra large plastic bag filled with water. It was tied up at the end with a rope so that water couldn’t leak out and it took up all of the back of the station wagon. Esther rested her head on the back seat and stared. “Finally,” she thought to herself, “my first pet.”

News travelled pretty quickly that the Bunnis had a mermaid and before he knew it Roger had a small army of children and parents in his garage eager to get a look.

“Please don’t tap on the glass,” Roger kept saying as he lugged in a large bag of mermaid food. The large fish tank was donated to the Bunnis by a neighbor who had tried unsuccessfully to breed Maco sharks. It took up half of the garage and Roger even installed a fluorescent black light overhead.

Esther climbed the small ladder next to the tank and poured a stream of meal flakes that floated on the top. The mermaid swam up and ate the flakes from underneath just like a goldfish would do.

Waiting for her at the bottom of the ladder was Esther’s friend Lucy. 

“What’s her name?” Lucy demanded.

“I haven’t decided,” Esther replied, “but I’ve narrowed it down to either Veronica or Claire.”

“Claire? You can’t name her Claire?”

“Why not?”

“Because, mermaids aren’t named Claire. It’s too harsh. It’s upsetting, like a shard of glass in your arm. She needs a softer name like Daphne.”

“Daphne? What is she a substitute teacher at a liberal arts college? I’m not naming her Daphne.”

Esther replaced the box of fish food in the corner where two more unopened boxes neatly sat.

“How about Sally?” Lucy asked.

“Sally? No, not Sally.”

“Why not?”

“Look, she’s my mermaid so I’m going to be the one to name her at my own pace. I’m not going to rush this. Besides, I don’t want my mermaid doesn’t carry around a large keyring, drink wine coolers and smoke Virginia Slims. Pfft, Sally.”

Esther couldn’t sleep that night as she was still coming down from the rush of getting a new pet. So, she quietly got out of bed and snuck down to the garage.

She slowly opened the door and walked in. The black light hanging over the tank gave the water an otherworldly look that calmed and soothed, like being in the afterlife.

“Hey,” a voice suddenly called out, startling Esther.

Esther looked up. The mermaid was halfway out of the water resting her arms on the top edge.

“Hey,” Esther absently replied.

“What’s your name?” the mermaid asked.

“Esther.”

The two stared at each other.

“I didn’t know you could talk,” Esther finally said.

“Well, I am half human so it comes naturally.”

“And you can breathe air?”

“Kind of. When I’m out of the water I can breathe using water that’s trapped in my gill chambers.” The mermaid showed Esther some gills that were located behind her ears. “My mouth and throat can absorb oxygen as well, but not for very long. I can be out of the water for a short amount of time but then I have to go back in. Like a mudskipper.”

“A mudskipper?”

“Yeah. You know the fish that comes out of he water and walks around the mud for a bit? We’re distant cousins.”

Esther couldn’t believe she was talking to a mermaid.

“So, what did you end up naming me?” the mermaid finally asked.

“I landed on Zoe.”

“Zoe? What am I the lead singer for an indy band from Williamsburg?”

“Do you have a name already?”

“I do.”

“What is it?”

“It’s Claire.”

Esther stood in silence before the mermaid started giggling. “Just kidding. I heard you guys talking about it earlier. It’s just a little humor. Can you imagine, though? A mermaid named Claire?”

Esther remained steady in her silence and gave the mermaid a smile. “So, what is your name?”

“It’s Blanche,” the mermaid replied. “I’m named after my mother.”

“Blanche?” Esther replied. “That’s a lovely name.”

“Thank you, Esther. I like your name as well.”

Blanche gave Esther a smile.

“While I’ve got you here,” Blanche began, “I’ve got a quick request, is there any way I can get some more salt in here. The saline levels seem to be dropping.”

“Salt?”

“Yeah. Sea salt is preferable, not the kosher salt. It’s better for my scales.”

“Okay.”

“Also,” Blanche continued, “I’m going to need a phone.”

“A phone?”

“Yeah. A cell phone. Waterproof. Not for dunking, but just standing by in case I need to make a call. You can probably get a burner pretty cheap.”

“Uh, okay, I can ask my dad about…”

“You know what? I’m going to need some wine.”

“Wine?”

“Yeah. Pinot or some nice Cabs. No merlot.”

Esther was ready scribbling down a grocery list on a small notebook, “No merlot.”

“Are you old enough to buy cigarettes?”

“I don’t think I am.”

“It’s okay. I know somebody that can get them once I get that phone.”

By the time she finished writing down Blanche’s requests the list was two and a half pages long and included among other things a set of blank keys, some nunchucks, a curling iron, several bags of Cheetos, a subscription to Architectural Digest, a ham sandwich, and the board game Clue.

“Is that everything?” Esther asked.

“For now,” Blanche replied. “If I think of something else I’ll let you know tomorrow.”

Esther gazed at Blanche once again, still not believing she had a pet mermaid.

“Well, good night, Blanche.”

“Good night, Esther.”

Esther walked to the door and turned around to watch Blanche wave and then slowly sink back into the water, close her eyes and drift off into a deep slumber.

Back in her bed, Esther would sleep better than she had ever slept before.

Over the next several months Esther was vigilant in taking care of Blanche the mermaid. She cleaned her tank once a week and fed her three times a day, as Blanche had a very healthy appetite. Cleaning her tank would take several hours as there was a strict protocol developed by Esther herself to ensure the safety of her beloved pet. First, she would fill a smaller holding tank, which was a kiddie pool that Esther used to swim in in the summer, with water and salt then assist Blanche in crossing from her main tank to the smaller one. Next, she had to drain the main tank that was filled with poop, dead scales and leftover food that wasn’t eaten. The water drained straight down the driveway into the gutter and made the neighborhood smell like a fish market for a couple of days. Then, Esther would climb inside the tank and scrub the walls, cleaning bits of algae that would form along with pieces of skin and scales from when Blanche would get drunk and try to bash herself against the glass thinking about an old boyfriend who left her for a narwhal. Esther would shop vac the pieces of stray poop from the colorful rocks and finally she would refill the tank with fresh water, which took about three hours and balance it out with the precise amount of salt. Then, Esther would help Blanche back in her tank and feed her. After all that was done Esther would take out all the empty wine bottles and empty the ash trays and trash that was scattered around. 

There was a time early on where Esther thought that Blanche needed a friend so she had her parents purchase a small reef shark for her to play with. When she put the shark in the tank Blanche immediately swam to one corner and eyed the newcomer suspiciously. The reef shark swam lazily around for a couple of minutes when suddenly Blanche lunged at it and took a large bite out of its side, leaving the shark to drift helplessly around until it died.

Blanche surfaced, still with some shark guts hanging from her mouth.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” she said to Esther, “I’m a sociopath. I can’t be with other fish.”

Esther stared at the dead shark, which cost her parents quite a bit of money because it was smuggled in a whiskey barrel aboard the deck of a merchant ship and then maneuvered through several illegal back channels until it was sold out of the back of an SUV by a eunuch.

“Sorry,” Esther blankly replied. “It won’t happen again.”

“Is there any way you can put a TV in here? With all the cable channels?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Esther answered. She slowly walked to the door and looked back just as Blanche was biting the head off the shark.

Three months had gone by when Roger and Honey began feeling the stresses of taking care of a mermaid.

They sat one evening, late at night because they had been unable to sleep for weeks, under the breakfast nook light and stared, flabbergasted, at the pile of water and wine bills in front of them. Words like PAST DUE and FINAL NOTICE were printed in large red letters on many of the documents. Honey felt like crying. Roger was at his wits end. 

“We need to talk to her,” he finally said.

“Okay,” his wife answered.

They turned off the light and went upstairs and left the pile of debt that threatened to ruin them for generations to bask in the moonlight coming through the window.

The next morning Esther sat down on the couch opposite of Roger and Honey who made themselves comfortable on two wingback chairs. A large painting of Sylvester Stallone took up most of the wall behind them.

“Sweetheart,” Roger began, “Your mother and I have discussed this and…I think we need to find Blanche a new home.”

“But you said I could have a pet,” Esther protested. “We agreed, when I turned eleven and if I kept my grades up and did my chores I could get a pet. You both agreed to this.”

Sweat started beading up on Roger’s forehead. His lack of sleep had caused him to hallucinate recently. “Yes, but sweetie, we thought that you were going to get maybe a dog or a cat or even a bird, you know, something more traditional.”

“A bird? But you said they were assholes.”

“That was before we knew mermaids even existed,” Roger said.

“We had a deal,” Esther reminded them.

Honey leaned in, “Dear, it’s not that we don’t like her, we love her, it’s just that…”

Roger jumped in, “She’s becoming too expensive. Changing her water every week…it’s like we’re filling up a pool four times a month. And that food, that organic food she eats is costing us a fortune. And the wine. It’s just not sustainable.”

“Plus,” Honey started, “your father and I think she might have a drinking problem.”

“How do you figure that?” Esther asked.

“Do you see how many bottles of wine she drinks a week? Plus, she’s starting on the hard stuff. And that’s more expensive.”

“I knew you guys would go back,” Esther protested. “I knew you guys would break our deal. I knew it.”

“Sweetie,” Roger said, “we can get another pet. How about a nice puppy?”

“Listen,” Esther began, “she’s my pet and I’ll take care of her.”

“Sweetheart,” Honey pleaded, “we’re going broke. We can’t continue this. We’ve used up your entire college fund. I’m sorry, but we just can’t continue on with this.”

Suddenly, the phone rang and Roger walked over to answer it.

“Hello, Bunni residence…Yes, speaking…uh huh…you don’t say…” Roger’s face and tone began to grow rather suspicious. “Uh huh…interesting…well, I will talk to her about it right now….thank you very much.”

He gently set the receiver back on the cradle and slowly walked over to Esther. As he sat down he tried to compose his thoughts in a manner that wouldn’t upset and already sensitive situation.

“Esther, where did you get that flier that advertised the mermaid?”

“I…I got it from the front door. It was hanging on the front door with one of those rubber bands,” she replied.

Roger looked over at his wife then back at his daughter.

“Esther, did a man in a Rolls Royce give you that flier?”

“No…”

“Esther, you need to be honest with us.”

Esther looked into her parents eyes. They really had been so supportive. They were nearing bankruptcy and all they wanted was the truth.

“Yes,” she finally admitted. “A man in a Rolls Royce gave me the flier.”

Roger sat back. “Finally, the truth,” he said. “Esther, do you know the name of the man who gave you the flier?”

“I didn’t get his name. He just asked me if I was interested in a mermaid and I said yes. I’m sorry. All I wanted was a pet.”

“Who was that on the phone, dear,” Honey asked.

“That was Gary from PetCo. He found out where the mermaid came from.”

“Well, who was it?” Honey asked.

“It was Bill Gates,” Roger replied.

Esther’s indifference did not register with her parents.

“You mean, the Bill Gates?” Honey asked. “The billionaire?”

“Yes, that Bill gates,” Roger replied.

“Apparently, he had been driving around in his fancy Rolls Royce trying to unload a mermaid that he could no longer take care of.”

“Dad, who’s Bill Gates?” Esther asked.

“He’s a billionaire, sweetie,” Roger replied, turning back to his wife. “So anyway, nobody would take this mermaid and that’s when I guess he just dropped it off in the PetCo parking lot one night. I guess he wanted to make sure she went to a good home so he handed out fliers to people he thought would be good candidates.”

“And, you got all that from that extremely short phone call?”Honey asked.

“Gary is a very succinct storyteller,” Roger replied. “So, I guess we finally know where she came from.”

Gary stared at his daughter. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint her. Esther looked up.

“Dad, I’m sorry. I know that you and mom tried. We all tried. I’m sorry that it almost brought you to financial ruin and divorce.”

“Well, no one said anything about divorce.”

“The point is, I think that I’ve learned a couple of things here. One, never trust a billionaire, no matter how much money they give you.”

“Excuse me…”

“And two, I should never be afraid to ask for help.”

They all looked at each other with a renewed love for each other.

“Well,” Gary wondered along with the thing his daughter said earlier about a billionaire giving her money, “what do we do with her now?”

Roger and Honey Bunny turned and looked at their daughter. Esther knew what they had to do. It was the right thing.

The Bunnis drove far up the coast searching for a suitable spot to release Blanche the mermaid. Several locations were rejected by Blanche due to conditions that weren’t quite suitable for her including too many surfers in the water, not enough seagulls, bad weather and one location that was just plain boring.

They finally settled on a small bay that was surrounded by rocky cliffs on both sides. Large rock formations jutted out into the ocean as well, making this an ideal location for her. Roger backed the station wagon up to the bay. They got out and the whole family helped lifting Blanche from her giant plastic bag down to the shore. They waded in the surf and held her until she had the power to swim on her own. Blanche sat up in the water.

“Thank you, Esther. I’ll never forget you,” she said.

Esther had tears rolling down her face. “Thank you, Blanche. Maybe I’ll see you again.”

Blanche blew her a kiss and disappeared into the surf. The Bunnis walked back to the sand and then watched Blanche swim out to sea. She swam so gracefully, like a dolphin, jumping up and out of the water, diving back in again. She was home.

Her swimming didn’t last long, however, as she swam up to one of the large rocky outcroppings about a hundred feet away. The Bunnis saw her flop-crawl up the rock like a seal and settled onto a flat edge where she looked out towards the ocean. She then began letting out a series of high pitched howls.

“She’s crying,” Esther said. “ She’s sad.”

“I think she’ll be alright,” Roger said. “She’s probably calling out for her friends.”

Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, a giant container ship came into view from behind the cliff. It was moving fast and looked as if it was too close to the shore. Something was wrong. The ship veered towards a small dock a little ways up the coast where local fishermen brought back their catch of the day and rammed right into it. Several fishing boats were crushed and the pier created a huge gash in the side of the container ship where it immediately began taking on water. Crew members could be seen jumping overboard into the ocean as the large ship began to sink.

Esther looked at the rock and found Blanche who was looking back. Blanche gave Esther a wink and then jumped into the water and disappeared.

Esther kept staring at where Blanche had been sitting and quietly said, “Dad, what’s a sociopath?”

“Why do you ask?” Roger replied.

“No reason,” she said.

Later that day the Bunni family welcomed a brand new puppy into their home that they immediately named Claire.